Love.

That funny little word.  Amazing how much of an impact it has on us, yet there are some out there who don't believe in it.  Recently I was a bit shocked to hear this from the grapevine within our very own community of students.  It's not that I don't believe that everyone is not entitled to their own rights, it's just that I find it strange because I believe love is one of the attributes that makes us truly human.

This of course implies that other animal species cannot love, which is a serious fallacy, (seeing as we've got the arrogance that we are one of the highest class of race, I guess that it's understandable) but if you look at pop culture media, and how love is plastered all over it, bursting with romance at the seams it's practically impossible to deny.  I could say that I'm a self confessed hopeless romantic, and my belief in love perhaps will never die out (fingers crossed) but I notice that maybe some say it because they have been hurt before?  Or because they haven't been in a relationship themselves?

Yet the thing is, you can't go wrong, when people all over the world are in love.

I find love to be absolutely real and true, because it's intangible. I have my personal philosophy; nothing that we gain physically on this plane is ours for the keeping, we are borrowing all we see and touch as an experience - no one makes it out of this life alive, figuratively (and literally!) speaking.  Because love has this untouchable nature, it is something that stays with us - often This intangibility makes it so beautiful - it is inside of you - do you ever feel the need to express your love for someone or something yet cannot find the words to do so?  THIS is love.  Do you just on impulse work in certain ways that you can't explain when the thought of what you love crosses your mind?  THIS is love.  It's all there.  The winds of change and hope are blowing for those who can hear.

Yes love, has a great power.  It makes it both a tool of incredible good and maliciousness at the same time.  We always hear the stories about someone nursing a broken heart, and the pain that spreads in the landfill of the heart.  It does claim the lives of some, it does possess us to do things we'd never dream of pursuing otherwise. Yet we forget, about those who are living out their lives filled with joy because of that special someone.  Many people do spend their lives looking for love, and while that may seem like a foolish endeavour it's not like we can say that it isn't attainable - surely you can look around you and find some living proof.

Also, herein I've only focused on side of love; love is paternal, maternal and everything else you feel.  I love my friends.  I know I would go to the ends of the earth for quite a few of them, because the relationship is so strong; too true, when you have love like this, what else do you really need?

They say we're always searching for the truth.  I hate to break it to everyone, but love is something that cannot be broken down into segments for analysis, so that it can be determined to be a truth.  It's not.  Plain and simple.  It is the most irrational feeling which is why so many of us are obsessed with it.  Don't you think this makes it all the more exciting?

Just my food for thought for the day.

PS Found later:

I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE CONCEPT OF INFATUATION. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY UNDERSTANDING THAT BEING ‘INFATUATED’ WITH SOMEONE MEANS YOU THINK YOU ARE IN LOVE, BUT YOU’RE ACTUALLY NOT; INFATUATION IS SUPPOSEDLY JUST A FOOLISH, FLEETING FEELING. BUT IF BEING ‘IN LOVE’ IS AN ABSTRACT NOTION, AND IT’S NOT TANGIBLE, AND THERE IS NO WAY TO PHYSICALLY PROVE IT TO ANYONE ELSE. WELL, HOW IS BEING IN LOVE ANY DIFFERENT THAN HAVING AN INFATUATION? THEY’RE BOTH HUMAN CONSTRUCTIONS. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, THEN YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE; THINKING AND FEELING IS THE SUM TOTAL OF WHAT LOVE IS. WHY DO WE FEEL AN OBLIGATION TO CERTIFY EMOTIONS WITH SOME KIND OF RETROSPECTIVE, SELF-IMPOSED AUTHENTICITY?
- Chuck Klosterman

The Believer

I had a lucky miracle to stumble upon a wee gem of a magazine, called the Believer.  It has articles on the most interesting things, mainly literature, and ponderings about said subject, but through it I learnt all about the Barkley Marathons, and that has continued to consume my mind for the rest of the weekend.  It is an amazing event.  The sort of thing, that it takes one a lifetime to know about.  I feel privileged to have discovered such a race.  Even though I would never dream of partaking in such an event.

<http://www.believermag.com/issues/201105/?read=article_jamison>

here is the amazing article that goes into such beautiful and gruelling depth of the race. But yet, light enough that it leaves you longing to pack out to Tenessee to witness it all.

Although the course of the race was absolutely fascinating, and the feats they had to overcome were mind-blowing, I found myself trying to understand their psyche more than anything else.  WHY would you put yourself through a 100 mile race, not just any 100 mile race, but one through an elevation that is twice of Everest, where you could get lost at any moment, where rats and vipers were not a possibility but an annoyance, and where one has to be sane enough amidst it all to find nine to eleven books hidden within infinite miles of dense foliage to prove completion of the race!?  I find it highly satirical that a 60 mile run (3 loops of the race) is called a 'Fun Run'.  Not so much, eh? Oh and did I mention that the third and fourth loops must be run backwards, and the fifth loop is your choice?  If you haven't casually quit, been eaten alive, or lost your mind by then.

I was truly in awe.
I still am, don't get me wrong. These men (and women) I thought, must be crazy.  I understand the whole notion of pushing yourself to the limit, and yes, the limit fluctuates from person to person.  Also I understand the feeling of completion, of believing in yourself, but this is one step further altogether.  Only nine people have completed the race since its indoctrination in 1984;   think about it - a race inspired by the man who tried to assassinate Martin Luther King Jr and the route he took on his breakout run from jail. Am I right in finding that slightly twisted?  I'm surprised that no one has brought that up before as insensitive.

Whatever it is, it made me realise something; I have brought it up to myself many times before, but the role of the mind in situations like these.  Mental over physical, always.  I am reminded of the epic match recently between Novak Djokovic and Roger Federer.  Roger seemed like a shoo in to win, being 3 match points up, and Djoko 2 sets down.  But somehow, against ALL odds, Djoko came back to win the championship...and we can stand around scratching our heads but you know when it comes down to it Djokovic put his mind to its best to beat the legend who used to be No.1.

This also reminded me of my KL Volleyball tournament - we just didn't gel together as well as we could've.  Granted, we were up for a bit of experimentation, and we didn't know each other or trust each other as we should - but I guess that's part of the learning process, and learn from it we shall.  As for mind over matter, it's very true.  I know there were points during a match where I felt, this is it, I can't run much further than this, and so I would watch in disbelief as the ball dropped inches from my feet as I made a vain attempt to shuffle towards its trail.  But there were other times, where I felt the energy tapping in my toes, and I could deflect anything with a dig, roll or spike.  And it just goes to show.

Am I an ultramarathoner?  No siree.  I don't think I have the motivation for that kind of run.  Nor could I believe in myself to do something like that.  Maybe one day, the thought will cross my mind.  Never say never.  For the people that do these things, it's them against themselves, the pressure is off for those around them.  They are fighting those inner demons I believe, when they run.  A friend of mine, told me that he engages in certain hobbies and activities because no one else does them - therefore there is no pressure between each other to be the best - and it's true, trying to be the best is putting a lot of pressure on yourself, but then can you drive yourself without others rallying around you?  I couldn't see it before, but now the answer is clearly, YES.  So much of us around us is self induced.  It's amazing that we don't see it.  Like the choice to be happy?  If we objectively look at everything that stresses us out, 95% of the time, it is unnecessary - we are choosing to be stressed over it.

Again, the Barkley's Marathon is not my cup of tea, but I would consider myself extremely lucky should I ever be one to witness it.  I shall gladly put it on my list of things to see/do before I die.  Would things be different if everyone stopped to take time to think about how they affect themselves in their own minds?  Very much so.

Indifferent

Know those days, when you don't really have feeling for anything?  This is probably me as a result of being in physical pain. Hmmm well, playing 11 sets of volleyball quite simultaneously is pretty exhausting I have to say.

I hope this week, is just as good as the last, have more volleyball to look forward to, excepting the fact that I have strained a muscle in the nether regions.  I was like, REALLY?  why THERE of all places??  As long as I can play, I'm a happy camper. At least I don't have the stress of having to do my EE.  That is done and dusted.

Moreover, I just wanted to talk about the difference one person can have; that's all it really takes.  One of my really good friends, just raised a lot of awareness about the hunger strikes in the horn of Africa, and raised a very sizable sum of money for the cause, which is amazing.  All from the initiative of one.  Of course she had support and help, but she was essentially the brainchild behind the project.  I am so so proud of her.

I am tired now. going to go sleep off this training.